For Your Consideration and Amazement

Available for immediate move-ins

My sister is probably one of the funniest people that i know personally. She makes me laugh all of the time. I don't know if we're just both slightly handicap or if we just have a great sense of humor. Either way I seem to find myself laughing most of the time that I am around her. One day I walked into her room and in her room she has two double door closets. They aren't walk-in, but there is a lot of room in them. They were made for 2 people. I walk in, and I noticed something totally out of the ordinary. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was at that moment though. So I went about my business getting ready in the bathroom that we both shared together. We were talking as I was getting ready. She was on her bed talking to me through the room and into the bathroom where I was. I finally finished and came and sat on the bed next to her. "The pit of doom." Now anyone that knows us, knows that when we sit on the bed together and start talking, we never get anything else accomplished. So we have thus nicknamed our beds "The Pit of Doom". Well as we were sitting there chatting away, I looked straight forward towards her closets. I finally figured out what was different.
"Why is all your stuff all the sudden jammed into one closet?" 
She paused, hesitant to answer my question. "I'm not sure that I really want to tell you." She said sheepishly. "You will think that I am retarded."
Now I really started to notice things.
"And why is your bed moved away from the corner of the room and directly in the center of the wall now?"
She covered her head in a pillow and started to laugh.
"You have to tell me what is going on." I said. She winced as if it was almost too painful.
"Okay, but you have to swear to me that you won't laugh."
"Promise." Half sure of whether or not I could. "I will do my best."
"You have to swear on grandpa's grave you won't laugh at me." She said. It was as if it were life or death at this point.
"Sure."
"Okay...So you know how in "The Secret" they tell you to have positive thinking. And how your thoughts are suppose to become things?"
"Yes." I replied, interestingly awaiting the outcome of this charade.
"Well, since I have really been thinking hard about how I want a boyfriend. Not just a boyfriend, but a potential husband. I thought I would put it into action."
"Oh and what does this have to do with the way that your room is currently arranged?" I asked.
"Well, if I made my room as if there were actual space for another person to live in here with me, that would be positive thinking and action. So I moved my bed away from the wall so someone could get around the bed to their side. And I cleared out my other closet so someone else could move their stuff in. I am available for immediate move-ins."
"You are serious?"
"Yes...."
I burst into laughter. I couldn't help it, that was the singular most funny thing I had heard that whole month. Now I know that my sister is funny. But wow, she really blew my socks off. I started to have tears rolling down my face I was laughing so hard. I have never seen someone so determined to think a new love interest into their life. She meant business. No funny stuff either. She had it all set up so that it would be so easy for someone to just move into her room. And I am sure that she would have been thrilled if that were the case. So my sister is still available for immediate move-ins and this was nearly two months ago that she made this arrangement. My funny sister.

Weeds

So my father asked my sister and I if we wanted to pull weeds for money. Never agree to this. If anyone asks say you have carpal tunnel or something. Well since we were desperate and hard up for cash we agreed. We thought oh yeah we'll be done in a couple of days no problem. Well let me describe to you the situation. We were asked to weed the banks of a ditch. On both sides. Now to give you an insight as to how long the ditch was, if you were to drive up and down it, it would be a half mile. Another tid bit of information is that the weeds were covering the bank. There wasn't like a few weeds here and there. They were overtaking the bank. It was ridiculous. Day by day we would set out to finish the weeds. The days started to add up. 1, 2, 5, 7, 10... you get the picture. It started to feel like torture. And every day my dad would come up and just smile like he knew he was torturing us. It was like it was on purpose. Like he was trying to build character in us. Or something morbid like that. We told him many times that we were trying to quit weed, but it was taking over our lives. He would just laugh and walk off. He thoroughly enjoyed watching us weed his ditch bank. I knew that he just wanted to get out his lawn chair and glass of lemonade and sit and watch us as we labored away. People stopped asking us what we were up to, because they knew that we were pulling weeds. One day my sister got so frustrated she took her shovel and started hitting the dirt. Over and over. Grunting as she exerted all of her frustrations onto the dirt. Then she started laughing. When my sister gets really angry or upset she starts to laugh. So I knew at that moment she was outright pissed. It was so funny I couldn't help but to laugh. Well as we were weeding we started a game of sorts. One of us would dig the top of the bank and the other would dig the bottom. We would dig all the weeds and then come back and gather them up and get all the ones we missed. We had somehow drawn an imaginary line down the length of the ditch that ended up somewhere in the middle. Depending on which person you were asking would depend on how much closer the line was to them, and how much more the other person was suppose to be weeding. So anyway as we were clearing the weeds, we would yell out you missed, anytime a weed was on the other side of the imaginary line, that we weren't digging. "You missed!" We would exclaim as if that somehow made us feel better.  The more times we were able to point out the other persons mistake, the better we seemed to feel. So we would yell "you missed, you missed, you missed, you missed!" Every time we saw the hint of a straggling weed. Then there was the occasional "What were you thinking, are you blind!?" And of course weeds that were missed, that were quite possibly our mistake were always blamed onto the other person. Well eventually we finally finished. And told our dad that we had finally quit weed. He couldn't have been prouder. Then of course our hands were extended for the cash flow that we were expecting. "Thanks dad!" But at the end of the day if we could stick out pulling  weeds every day for 2 1/2 weeks, we can do anything. Goes to show what hard work, and a great friend to do it with will get you. 

Can't Stop the Dolphin

So I am in this single's ward, and they are all quite a bit older than the normal single's wards. When you walk in you feel kinda like you are going to a bowling tournament immediately. And there is nothing wrong with that, it's just that's what I automatically think about when I go to church or to ward functions. I feel like I have forgotten my bowling shoes and my team shirt. Well last week we had fhe, and it was a pool party. So my sister, her friend Brittany, and I decided that we were going to go. Well when we got there, no one was going to go swimming. Who doesn't like to swim? So anyway, there were a bunch of us that decided to get in, and by a bunch I mean a handful. 4 girls 5 guys. Among those was this guy named Fred. Now Fred is an interesting character. He is the type of person that after listening to him for 5 minutes you go, oh okay he ate his own filter. He can't help it. Every thought that ever enters that boys head, seems to stream out into words that come out of his mouth. Most of the time you are just embarrased for him. Well anywho, we were all messing around in the pool (and not that kind keep your mind out of the gutter). We were going down the slide and seeing who could grab onto the snow tube. You know the ones with the handles and don't have a hole in the middle. They are usually purple and white. Why is that anyway? What person had the job of deciding that all snow tubes had to be purple and white and or some other variation of that. Well anyway back to the contest. We were all trying to see if we could grab onto the handles and stay on top of this tube. It was the funniest sight. A bunch of late 20's early 30's adults sliding down this slide, that had to be made in the 70's, and trying to grab a hold of this object that barely fit underneath them. What a sight. Then I made the mistake of splashing Fred in the face with the over chlorinated water. Then came out the inner demon. He grabbed the purple and white snow tube and clenched onto the handles the underside facing toward me. He started to bounce the tube against the water and shout "Can't stop the dolphin, can't stop the dolphin" and then there was the animal change "Oh can't stop the starfish, can't stop the starfish". All of this while he is trying to splash water in my face with the purple and white snow tube. Then he started to kick his feet in my direction, again trying to splash me in the face, now screaming "Can't stop the dolphin". My sister was near me and she was like "No it's more like a whale, Can't stop the whale, that's what you should be saying Fred" 

I don't think that at a pool party I have ever laughed so hard in my life. Just being able to witness this scene was miraculous to me. But then when Fred got out of the pool he decided to grab my towel and use it. Of course he thought this was hysterical, and I was worried about getting some kind of fungus. I was like you aren't sanitary...you can keep the towel. I will drip dry. I didn't really say that to him, but I would have liked to. So since then, we have found a dolphin keychain, and it makes dolphin noises. We are thinking seriously about getting it for him. ha ha. Well this is all for now...